Social Anxiety: A Pandemic Aftermath

What year is it?

2020 is over; but not really; technically, yes; it just doesn’t feel like it. The pandemic has rocked our world in ways we’re still learning about. Change is inevitable, but the change that has happened in the past 2 years is baffling.

People had to quarantine, go into lockdown, and separate from the rest of the world to keep themselves and their loved ones safe. Many people were isolated and alone because they had to be. This can affect someone differently based on their home life, income level, support system, and personality traits.

Effects of the Pandemic

Depression, anxiety, and domestic violence all increased during the pandemic’s peak. Extroverts, who needed to socialize to recharge their battery, were left to find creative solutions for their human interactions.

Introverts, however, were rejoicing, and experiencing a world finally made for them. It’s that much more true for introverts with social anxiety. Six feet apart meant not being close enough to feel surrounded by strangers. Mask mandates limited small talk as listeners were unable to hear speakers as efficiently with their mouth coverings on. Technology sped up resulting in a boom for delivery services for goods such as food, basic needs, even vehicle purchases - giving persons with social anxiety even more reason to stay home worry-free. 

Re-entering the World

Now we are all emerging from the pandemic and coming back into the world. Although some who were strictly working from home have maintained their WFH status, many others are now hybrid (some days WFH and other days in an office). Then there’s a whole other group of people who are back in the office completely. Large events have resurfaced such as weddings and concerts. Amusement parks are opened up again seeing crowds of people daily. People are traveling again not only in their state but throughout the country and even to foreign continents. 

The country is open again. And those with social anxiety feel it.

Social Anxiety 2.0

Social anxiety is a fear of being watched, concern of embarrassing yourself, or inadequate confidence in speaking with others and uneasiness of just being around people. Privacy is safe; public is dangerous - that’s the core belief for people with serious social anxiety. Because someone who is struggling with this anxiety was comfortable with the “stay home” orders, it will be harder for them to re-adjust to life as we knew it. If this describes you, perhaps you got used to being in an environment where you had full control. You were completely on your own. There weren’t many disturbances of your peace.

Now it’s back to having to be around co-workers, strangers, salespeople, other drivers, and everyone else. And you’re freaking out. Your apprehension makes sense. This is way harder to navigate than before 2020 because you got a taste of what a “safe” world felt like. Wasn’t it the best for your anxiety? You didn’t have to deal with it as frequently or intensely. But now reality is banging on your door.

Now what? Ways to Deal

Never fear! Or do, that’s okay too, but know that there are some tools, tricks, and tips available for you. You can handle your social anxiety and overcome those anxious feelings. Let’s break some down.

Validation

You have to be aware that this is tough and you’re not alone. You are not the only one struggling - remember that. Everyone is trying to find their way back, even though that doesn’t really exist anymore. So find your way in the now. Identify the feelings that come up for you when you think about doing the social thing. Then accept how you feel. Come to terms with your fears as practicing accepting uncomfortable emotions can help you feel stronger.

Take your time

You’re not going to recover from your social anxiety just after reading this; it’s going to take time. This isn’t a race to see who can reintegrate into society first. You don’t get an award for being the fastest to reduce social anxiety. You get to decide when it’s time to try. You get to take baby steps to reach your anxiety goals. You don’t have to do all the things in one day. If you try to take a step but then it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. You have time to try again. What are the baby steps for you? What do you want to try first?

Chat it out

You can journal about what your worst fears are regarding being in public. You can process with your therapist about what outcomes you're looking for. You can reach out to trusted persons (friends, colleagues) about what type of support you need such as them being with you, speaking up for you, giving you nods of encouragement, etc.

Challenge yourself safely

When you’re close to feeling ready (because you may not ever feel fully ready), push yourself. Give yourself permission to walk into the restaurant to pick up your dinner instead of having it delivered to your home. Sit in the conference room for the work meeting because it can go as well as meeting virtually. Shop at an actual store like walking with a cart instead of succumbing to online shopping. If you don’t try to step out of your comfort zone, you’ll never get anywhere. And you do want to get somewhere; you want to improve, right?

Be gentle with yourself

Self talk is needed here. Speak to yourself kindly as you navigate re-entering the world post quarantine. It’s going to be challenging; that’s a given. But shaming yourself won’t get you the real results you want. Loving yourself enough to put yourself out there will be the best thing you can do for yourself. Have a mantra for when your social anxiety is rising, such as “people are just living their lives and are too busy to judge me right now” or “it’s okay to feel scared, I can still keep going and get through this.”

Summary AKA TL;DR

Anxiety has always been a thing, but the pandemic has added an extra layer of fear. Good news: you can reduce social anxiety. Repeat affirmations: I’m not the only one with social anxiety. This is normal following a pandemic. It’s okay if I [fall on my ass, stutter, don’t know what to say, etc], that does not define my worth. Practice with a safe person or on your own. And put one foot in front of the other towards your social destination. You’ll be great.

If you need help with your social anxiety, contact me to find out how we can get you in a better place (mentally…and physically and socially, too!).